Small Bits of Big Thoughts

From 2005-2009

A spotlight upon uncertainty, and a mystic vibration.
This wave is leading me into a mood I've never known.

To ignore is to give in,
and to proceed is a promise to never look back again.
There's nowhere to turn in this hallway,
in this body.

Just keep from crying, but don't hold it in;
Abandon it all together, or fear will never end.

A body draped in light, and it's message twists you.
I've become a planet, an entire galaxy even,
but there's nothing I can do.

Layers and layers of reality intertwine
through light, sound, and an actual symphony composed of flesh;
A celebration through meditation that we are the universe.
__________________

We were laughing about everything, because we could.
Positive vibrations, and memorable resonance weaved through each vessel,
shaping the universe one joke at a time.

We held onto nothing, and God couldn't stop laughing.
To see human existence begin and end in a blink...
It didn't matter...
(laughter)
__________________

David built a raft, and surrounded himself with sound.
Going nowhere while being everywhere,
he is one of multi-billion paradoxes.
__________________

This fountain of blood, this system of me,
It's all I need.
Awe struck by this biological machine,
I hold my breath as a gesture;
a pause even from living to admire I'm alive.

Capable of anything, but specifically love.
To devote my attention
and consciously use the time I have with direction.

I am in love and always will be with more than just another,
but one whose eyes are as wide open as those staring back.

She's blessed me with visions, hints that there is more;
to humans, to reality, to living, to everything.

I'll never see how I once did,
because there isn't a "once did", only a now.

Outside of time, I've left my mind to linger among Gods.
Among monks and mystics, colors and portals
my body must go.

I'll return again.
I will never end.
___________________

You've gathered us, here.
We've sat around together
while you tower above forever.
I clench hands with my brothers.

Just as you dreamt of us before our arrival,
we dream of you post-departure.

From here on you are the light;
honest; boundless; fearless.
From here on we'll continue,
everything you've begun.
___________________

I see infinity through these affinities.
___________________

It's Rainin' Blue

It's rainin' blue on this summer day
I've found I don't have much to say.
Not that I must or feel the need to,
Just starin' out while it's rainin' blue.
_________________________________

I actually wrote this in Belize in the summer of 2005, but it was a little shorter (if you can imagine). It was one sentence before, but i thought a couple extra lines wouldn't hurt. It was raining here, and it came to mind, so I thought to etch it into the endless walls of the internet-mind would be worth while.

Just typing...

I feel a change a'comin over me
Somethin' rude approachin' unapologetically.
It bends my bones, and redefines
The man behind the achin' eyes.

Internal dialouge gnawed relentlessly at the feet of my time,
But has made it's way unto another moving grave.
A youthful host of flesh, blood, and mistake;
One that catches only the cynical in it's wake.

Faith in the future, and faith in my body
To hold me patiently and carry me aimlessly
In the womb of futurity with spiritual fertility.
________________________

This is some form of a cowboy-esque philosophy that somehow resonates with eastern concepts as well. Acceptance and trust in experiential wisdom; using your own judgement and instict as your guide, not the expectations or standards set by others. This is what I'm coming to, and what will one day embody, hopefully. Someone who is confident and faithful enough to trust himself at all times, otherwise you're treading water in a pool you've made; creating your own undertow.

p.s. thats not my drawing, I found it here. link

++++++

basking in this ancient light
witnessing with infant eyes
the prime of a planet
the fate of some cancered sun

as we blot out the moon
we gash open the past
roaming on cosmic lanterns beings stare at another,
at a space and time unknown

to know this is to know yourself as an intelligent being
to see this is to see the universe as god
________


Why does the word "god" spur preconceived imagery? Automatically there is an assumption on what is being referenced. God is indefintely undefined in my mind, everchanging with my mood, needs, and imagination; an idea or concept so heavy, like god, should be personal on every level at all times. This understanding and acceptance of eachother's relationship with whatever god is, to us, should be the focus of praise and silence.

Late Night Thoughts

- Do you ever wonder what a year sounds like?

- Omnitonal; All possible notes simultaneously, audible and inaudible.

- When you're truly listening, to a narrative, music, or anything, you see outside yourself. In this state of mind, nothing else matters.

- The million mile stare is about listening, not staring.

feel sick....

Don't Try

This is a song/poem I wrote many years back. It concerns death, and accepting it. There's more to it, but graphically it's complete here.